To SEE Change...We Must BE Change!

Praise God for a symbol of change in 2008...the selection of President Elect Barack Obama!

I was recently at a game night (a gathering of people to play select board games...an opportunity to eat, drink and be merry!) and just as we were leaving to return home the topic of Barack winning and how that would affect black people in America came up. This was not mixed company...just us black folk ages 25-40 I'm guessing...most with college degrees. There were two differing opinions:

Point 1- Black people are always looking for a "messiah" (hence I said "a" messiah... not "the " Messiah) to bail them out of trouble. (as if Obama was that messiah) "Black people need to just stay off of welfare and go to school and get an education and they won't need a "messiah" was one solution.

Point 2- Black people have it the worst in this country, the solution is not as easy as it seems....Obama or not!

The person whose point of view I listed as "point 1" was a college graduate with possibly a grad degree. He was also a black Republican (he voted for Barack but still had Republican points of view). I completely understand his frustration with the state of black Americans today. You have rappers who are still continuously going to jail and writing songs that are of zero to minimal substance. The music seems to perpetuate the state of the people instead of encouraging otherwise. The attire of this generation of teens and early 20's young people is less than likely going to warrant them a job beyond an inner city street corner. There seems to be more "babies daddies" then there are husbands in the black community so therefore the state of black people in the U.S. is becoming a cause for alarm. Now the question is...Are we to blame for our downward spiral or is someone else? Personally, I feel like it is a combination of the two and a few variables.


The Decline of the Black Family

• We can choose to stop having babies out of wedlock (not through abortions of course). But celibacy is God's answer to birth control! (us)


• Rebuilding from the Crack Epidemic (them...we didn't make crack)


• Male Self Esteem- (them & us) this may seem weird to some that I listed this but think about it. Since slavery our men have been belittled and emasculated always with the threat of death, from slave masters raping their wives to being called the "N" word or "boy" in front of their families. They have been beat down throughout the past hundreds of years and ladies...we have followed suit. We have now taken on the role of male bashing ourselves chanting "all men are dogs"...well as they were being chased by dogs during the civil rights era we were right there to clean the wounds when they got home. Although it seems like when the crack era hit, when black men couldn't get jobs, when women started burning their bras we thought that was a good idea and so we have become "Independent Women". We can now visit sperm banks and we have our own careers and now don't even have time to raise our own children properly (for some) do we think we are better off? Ladies we are struggling and we have to learn that the black male ego is VERY sensitive not just because black men are "trippin" or whatever it's because they have been deprived of something so long that they need their woman to HELP them restore what they, their fathers, grand and great-grandfathers have lost.

The Decline of the Black Community

• Church (us) Churches must remember that it's not the size of your congregation its about what Jesus would do. He fed a multitude...then He spoke about God's word. If we as a church fail to meet the needs of the people how will they clearly hear and know God. We have the power to do miracles in our community but its not going to happen if it's about "keeping up with the Jones'" what's the use of having a fancy steeple if your congregation is full of nearly homeless people?


• Rise and Fly (us) I'm glad you made it out of the "hood" alive with your degrees and your new corporate career but it's not all about you! Have you ever thought that your success now has you in a place where you can and should help someone else? Don't you think that you are being just as bad as the crack dealers killing our people if you lay your head in the suburbs and don't lift a finger to do anything to help anyone else move forward? For those who think that "Well I did it and I didn't have any help so should they!" Let me say that you did not do it alone, you might have gotten by merely on the intercessory prayer of your grandmother. Heck, maybe if it had been solely on your efforts you would be in the same position as all the others. Think about it!

Black people deep down want the best for each other, we are just sick and tired of the statistics. We are tired of seeing our people struggle financially. I feel that though we can empathize with each other to a certain extent there is still little to no room for real understanding of the situation at hand. I think many black people feel that most blacks just complain and don't do the work to get to the next level...that is not always the case. In every race there are lazy people, there are people who would rather have a hand out than a leg up on a situation. I'm not talking about those people, I'm talking about the people who try their best but have not had a breakthrough or those who tried, got knocked down and are now jaded and have completely lost faith. Those who are in the position to help...don't always do it. As if giving your fellow African American "the hook up" is completely out of order....other people call it Nepotism!

The "N" Word (Let's end this once and for all)

So I got a text the other day and the first line read "Vote for Obama". Of course, I'm all on it but just as I am about to send it I scroll past the last line. "Can a Nigga get elected!" My first thoughts are, "Wow I would love to forward this in support of him being elected. Then I think, why does he have to be a nigga?" It's like the first line of the text spoke volumes, it had me feeling good about the fact that a black man that actually knows what it's like to go without, a man that knows what it's like to struggle and triumph, a man who "looks like me" can actually be the President of the United States of America. A place where once upon a time someone that "looked like me" could not vote or legally read a book. I thought, look how far we've come. But not only that, imagine where we can go as a seemingly downward spiraling race of people. What an example of excellence we have in Barack Obama and how awesome it is to witness these days and times! Heck, black people are finally taking politics seriously and getting involved in the system because we now truly feel like things are changing and there is at least a ray of hope...a glimmer of prosperity in the darkness of this society. Then I come to that last line "Can a nigga get elected". I can't explain how deflated I felt, it was like someone sending you flowers and then when you read the card it says "Happy Birthday B****!" No matter how beautiful the bouquet the harsh slanderous remarks definitely take away from the jubilation. All of this leads me to wonder why we as black people continue to use this term.

Some people say that it is a term of endearment and displays a sense of camaraderie but the way it was used in the example above it figuratively put a 40 oz. of malt liquor in Barack's hand and stood him on a street corner. Does that mean that those on a street corner are now "N words"... nope but this is the type of language that seems to be more easily accepted amongst peers without opposition. (Reasons are to be determined) The term "Nigger" throughout American history has always been one of negativity toward black people. It was a word that was designed to express feelings of: anger, hate, disdain and was used with a condescending tone. This label was shoved down our forefathers throats to belittle them and figuratively castrate our men. Fast forward to today, now we have young black men and women calling each other a variation of the label our forefathers tried so hard to escape. Now we see this label as a term of endearment and brotherhood when less than 60 years ago there were people with hoods belting the same phrase with lit torches on someones lawn in Mississippi?! Are we really that naive to believe that every time a rapper uses this term every third line of his song those racists who lynched our great grandfathers aren't having a hearty laugh at the beautiful work they've done as they do back flips in their graves? Don't you think we seem rather comical to other races as we repeatedly defend a term that has so many negative connotations? (I apologize in advance to anyone who might be offended by my next statements, I am just trying to make a point) I have never heard of a person of Latin descent call each other "Wetback" or a gay person defend the use of the word "Fag" or a Jewish person write a song using the word "Kike".

Various "N word" Uses:

Term of Endearment???

• Would you refer to your grandmother as..."My Nigga"?

• If a person of another race used it in an "nice way" is that ok?

• If your black boss referred to you jokingly in this way would you be bothered?

• What if you overheard a mother calling her child that in a playful way...as if that was the child's nickname? Would that be a problem?
  

Used when Angered???

• Men, how do you feel when a woman calls you this when she is angry?

• Men, if your wife or girlfriend called your son this in anger is that ok?

Used in Music and Entertainment???

• How does it feel when people of other races are singing songs with the "N word" in it and they say the word out loud in front of you. Does it matter because they were just rapping the lyrics?

Does any of this matter? Are we so obsessed with desiring control in some area in our lives that we will fight to the death for a word that stomps us deeper into the ground? This is complete and utter lunacy folks! Comedians how can I laugh when you are saying the "N" word jokes in front of my co-worker Jane? She's not sure if she should laugh or not because she knows that I just might hit her in the face if she laughs at the wrong thing! (lol) But honestly, I'm embarrassed not just because Jane is there but because I can't understand why the people that look like me just don't get that the words that come out of their mouth is very powerful and can be very damaging. Those words can perpetuate a mindset of inferiority amongst our people. It will make us think that you can become the President of the United States but in your own people's eyes...you're still just a Nigga!